Growing up, I was taught that competition is good.

When you played, you played to win.

You played to dominate everyone else on the field.

While that lesson didn’t initially align with what my heart was telling me, it was delivered so consistently that it became a part of my psyche.

This was especially true after I graduated from college and was able to take full control of my career.

I never wanted to be “above average.”

Whenever I set out to do something, I aimed to be the best – to dominate.

Problem was, total domination left a gaping hole in one area: happiness.

This boiled down to two reasons:

1. Playing to win above all else is a really lonely journey – you don’t let anyone else in for fear of giving them an edge

2. When the bar is set so high that the minimum expectation is perfection, you’re bound to be disappointed

Recently, I’ve been trying to take the opposite mindset. Instead of dominating the competition, how can I help so everyone wins?

How can I create a rising tide that lifts everyone?

Whenever I promote someone else, or help them succeed, I’m immediately happier.

The give-first mindset has also led to crazy opportunities that would have passed me by if I’d kept my win-at-all-costs mindset.

Fear’s voice is still whispering in my ear, but I’m finding that the new voice — the one that appeared after I starting giving back — is growing louder by the day.